How to Keep the Stress out of Family Formals on your Wedding Day
Family formal photos are often one of the most stressful parts of a wedding day, no matter how much you love your family. While these images become cherished memories, capturing them can quickly turn into a logistical challenge. Family members might offer unsolicited advice, jump in for hugs at the wrong moment, or unintentionally derail your timeline. However, with some thoughtful planning, this part of your day can be smooth, meaningful, and stress-free. After hundreds of weddings, seeing things go right and wrong, here are 6 tips for stress-free family photos that go off without a hitch while honoring your loved ones.
Why Family Formals Matter
Years from now, no matter how much you adore the candid moments from your wedding day, classic family portraits will hold a special place in your heart. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve gotten calls or texts in difficult situations thanking our team for a photo or photos that the couple has of a loved one that was lost. Photos preserve moments and memories – something that matters deeply. These timeless images—taken either directly before or after the ceremony—become the ones you frame and treasure for generations. Despite their importance, family dynamics can make this process challenging. From divorces to blended families to chosen families, every situation is unique, and navigating these relationships requires care.

1. Create a Family Photo List in Advance
Months before your wedding, we work with our couples to create a detailed list of family groupings for formal photos. We want to eliminate the need for on-the-spot decisions and ensure everyone important to you is included.
For example, you can decide ahead of time whether a sibling’s new partner will be in the photos or not. By planning when emotions aren’t running high, you’ll save yourself unnecessary stress on the big day.
By creating a thoughtful and vetted list, the decisions are complete long before the wedding day. You might want to run the list by your parents (that way everyone is happy), but even with that, it is done before the big day. Then we will then have a clear guide to follow, making the process efficient and seamless.

2. Prioritize the VIPs
Family formal photos should focus on the people you’ll want to see framed on your walls—your parents, siblings, grandparents, and other VIPs who have been instrumental in your life. I think this one can be a little tricky becase it can feel as though if they’re not on the list we’re not going to take their photo. Remember, not being included in the formal photo list doesn’t mean someone won’t be photographed. Throughout the day, we will capture countless candid moments with all your loved ones.
As editorial wedding photographers we’re always going to prioritize beautiful emotional moments. If grandma is crying while she holds your hand, hands down that’s a winning moment for us. That said, we’ve experienced enough to know that that’s not the only moment we want of grandma, and she might be sitting a lot. So family formals are a wonderful spot to make sure we have the most important people, looking their very best, for stunning portraits.
3. Allow Enough Time
Something people often miss is that family photos take time, even with the most efficient photography team. And we are nothing if not efficient. With three of us on the photography team, one person is fixing bow ties and asking your uncle to please let us hold his cell phone while he makes his “but what are you going to do with it” joke, one person is gathering the next group for a photo, and one person is taking the photo.
Yet, still, with that kind of practiced efficiency, on average, each grouping takes about three minutes. This means a list of 20 combinations can easily take an hour. Think about that. If you’re a couple who loves editorial photos and celebrating or if you’re worrying about family dynamics, this can be a bit challenging. Are you willing to stand in one place for an hour while we take that many posed photos? Keep this in mind when planning your timeline, especially if you’d rather be celebrating with your guests than spending an extended period posing for photos.
4. Accommodate Special Needs
If any family members have specific needs—such as elderly relatives, those with disabilities, or children—it’s so helpful to know these things in advance. We want to make sure we have seating, positioning, or other accommodations to ensure everyone feels included and comfortable. Thoughtful planning will help these moments feel seamless and respectful. Something that’s incredibly important when it comes to family moments.


5. Communicate Family Dynamics
Clear communication helps the team mitigate potential tension gracefully and ensures the process stays drama-free. Really, giving us details about how your family is likely to behave can be incredibly helpful. I promise, we’ve seen it all. Someday, when I publish my memoir (with names and dates removed), you’ll be able to laugh along with us.
For example, if you tell me that your divorced parents absolutely cannot stand next to each other in a family photo because of potential death glares, I promise it’s not the worst thing we’ve encountered. By sharing situations like this in advance, we can work to mitigate them and ensure everything is handled graciously and kindly. This is super helpful for us because, ultimately, our job is to keep you stress-free and ensure these photos are quick and easy. If you don’t share these details with us, it puts all the pressure on you—and that’s the last thing we want. It’s also really helpful for us to know if you have any concerns so that they become our concerns.
This also applies to little kids! When we’re taking photos with babies, toddlers, or young children, the reality is that they’re the ones in charge of the photo. Another reality? Every single adult in that photo is going to turn their heads to look at the child and say, “Look at the camera!” while pointing enthusiastically at said camera. Is this helpful? No. Will they keep doing it even if we politely ask them not to? Absolutely, yes. Because of this, we try to keep things as light and fun as possible—and we always aim to photograph the little ones first. If you have little kids involved, let us know ahead of time so we can plan for this and make the process as seamless as possible.
6. Enjoy the Day—Naturally
One common misconception is that if someone’s name isn’t on the formal photo list, they won’t be photographed at all. That’s absolutely not the case! Throughout the day, we’ll capture plenty of candid and posed photos of you interacting with loved ones. The formal photo list simply ensures that the most significant group shots are planned and executed seamlessly. You’ll have countless opportunities for photos with your loved ones throughout the day. Spontaneous moments, cocktail hour (if you attend), reception, and dance floor. Formal portraits are only one part of the puzzle. The best way to ensure great photos is to genuinely engage with your guests. Laugh, dance, and enjoy the moments—your documentary team will capture the magic.




Don’t Overlook Getting Ready Photos
One of the most intimate and emotional parts of the day is the time spent getting ready. The getting ready photos are truly one of my favorite parts of the day, for a couple of reasons. First, this is probably the quietest time of the entire day—the time where you can really soak in what’s happening. Once you have your dress or tux on, there’s this moment where we step into what we often call intimate portraits. These tend to be some of the most beautiful photos of the day because they’re quiet, raw, and incredibly personal.
In the room are the most important people and you. I always recommend having your top three people ready to go when you’re getting into your attire. Sometimes that’s mom, sister, and maid of honor. Sometimes, it’s a group of your best friends. But either way it’s your absolute favorite people hanging out, maybe having a drink or cracking jokes. These moments are so genuine and real, without any fluff, and that’s exactly why they tend to carry so much emotion and feel so timeless.
This is also an amazing time to capture portraits of the couple themselves. But for me, the reactions from the people you love the most are the true highlights. Maybe it’s your grandma helping you into your dress, her face lighting up as she zips you up. Maybe it’s your dad seeing you for the first time, a moment that will be unforgettable. Or your best friends teasing you, laughing so hard because they can’t believe the day is finally here.
That’s why it’s so important to give this part of the day some breathing room—to let the moments unfold naturally while still having time to capture all the key details. This is the time where the real magic happens with the people who mean the most to you. These moments are some of the best, the ones you’ll treasure and maybe even hang on your wall. Some of the photos will be posed, but many won’t be. It’s a perfect mix of everything: genuine, unfiltered emotions and a few more formal portraits.









Final Thoughts
Your wedding day will be filled with countless photo-worthy moments. Family formal portraits are about capturing the people who matter most in timeless, beautiful images. By focusing on what truly matters, planning ahead, and trusting your photography team to handle the details, you can ensure stress-free family photos that are meaningful. Remember, the goal is to celebrate and honor your loved ones while creating memories you’ll treasure forever.


